Ma Fazhion Blawg

Meet Simon and Pumbaa. So named after their ironic love of the disney classic, ‘The Lion King’. Whilst technically both refuse to wear any other shade* than black, Simon was participating in ‘Optimism Tuesday’ (although, as he tells me he “refuses to do the smiling thing”). Despite their Southend upbringing, neither speak a word of english, preferring to communicate in google-translated french. When they don’t have access to 3G on their vintage Nokia 2600 they remain silent in a ‘voice fasting’ period. Pumbaa also refuses to open his eyes for fear of the lower classes. Contrary to popular belief they both get a substantial babe-income.

Dead Right.

*Yeah, it’s a shade not a colour. Wanker.

Meet Hannah. She is friends with Emily and Liam, and probably more. Inspired by Alex Box, Hannah applies red acrylic paint to her lips, an effect which she describes as ‘Geisha-Bitch’. She plays synths in new-new rave outfit Un, Deux, Trois, Chat. She is semi-blind due to unnecessary wearing of black rimmed glasses from the age of four onwards. She is 32D.

Dead Right.

This is Emily. She is not really retarded but, as she tells us, is working some ‘spastic vibez’. We’re unconvinced but as the Rough Trade canvas bag (vintage) and Brothel Creepers (Clarks Vintage) will attest to- this girl means Indie. In the weekdays Emily enjoys knitting ironic sweaters of her cat FlosXXXyz. On the weekends Emily enjoys drone. She is 32F.

Dead Right.

This is Liam. Art student, of course, and part-time blogger. Liam is from California, so expect the usual- coke and enthusiasm. He says that his love of tweed, vintage, is intended as ironic statement on post-colonialism. When I had a search in Liam’s bag, Topman vintage, I found a typewriter (Liam also dabbles in minimalist poetry), some class As and a framed hologram photo of Hari Krishna. Why not!?!?

Dead Right.

This is Charlie. Art student and he knows it. Spotted on the streets of Shoreditch with his unnerving double-denim combo, vintage. A sly pose complimented by his audacious minimal colour scheme and cigarette. When asked about his style Charlie says ‘I just kinda do my own thing. Some people call it indie-cool but I have no need for labels. Especially in my jumpers, all of which are unplanned charity shop gems’.

Dead Right.